Today I wanted to share some background about myself. I can be secretive, or mysterious (if that sounds more intriguing), but I try really hard to be more open. So today you're getting an extremely rare look into who I am.
I am number four out of six children. I was born in Southern California, but moved here to Texas at my dad's earliest convenience. I am definitely a city girl, but I dream about moving out to the country (with all the latest amenities, of course!).
I have also dreamed of becoming an elementary teacher for as long as I can remember. I have tutored math and reading since I was in elementary myself. For a short time in my preteens I wanted to become a clown as well, but that's a whole other crazy matter.
I was always a despondent child, but I was diagnosed as Bipolar II at the age of 18. At the time I was attending Texas State University, majoring in Elementary Education. I didn't last long. I missed my dysfunctional family and money was tight. Also, I was struggling with my new diagnosis, trying to figure out how to overcome this new hurdle. I returned home for a brief period then moved out with my then boyfriend.
For the next several years I struggled with balance in my life. I didn't trust my emotions or my distorted thoughts anymore.
I was all over the map in my relationship and when that one ended I moved back to California for two years, stayed single and worked on myself. My emotional, mental and physical health all improved. I have never been so happy. The only thing I missed was my family. Without them by me, none of it seemed worth it. So I moved back to Texas.
Shortly after, I met a girl and started a tumultuous relationship that lasted nearly two years. I found out I hadn't really learned as much as I thought I had. I was happy with myself, but I wasn't happy compromising the way a relationship forces one to. That relationship also ended abruptly about a year ago.
Since then, I've enrolled back in school, have had two jobs (found out maybe I'm not so ready for that commitment), and met a wonderful man, D.
D is ceaselessly patient with me. He really is a saint. I have been learning to compromise and attempt to understand other's feelings. Surprisingly to other people, that's really a new concept for me. I've also struggled to trust that our relationship is stable and I am worthy of love. But D is really helping to show me that I can trust us together and he isn't going anywhere.
I've come a long way on my personal journey but I still feel like I have a lot of work to do. And that's why I'm here! I feel that writing (which is one of my passions) about things I create (another passion of mine) will keep me motivated to continue doing things I like rather than wallowing in self pity for weeks, as I'm accustomed to.
*Note: This is only the surface story and I will be here mid week to give another insider glance into what I may be going/ have gone through mentally or emotionally. If you are uninterested, then just ignore these posts and focus instead on my work, which should be posted Fridays.
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